Hunger strikes really do work....

Readers, he came.
He called by house this morning and stayed for at least 20 minutes.
I am shaking a bit as I write this I am so excited.
He must have heard about my not eating because he came with a bagful of cheese and onion pasties and some iced fingers. And he was muttering something about his PR person telling him to see that mad journalist and end her potentially "brand damaging" hunger strike.
The visit was all I dreamed it would be, he looked so dashing and brave just dressed in a t-shirt despite the freezing cold weather.
We talked, well I talked. He is such a good listener. I told him how I like to exfoliate my face twice a day to feel extra clean and how one time I ate a whole piece of cake. I could see he was impressed by my occasional devil-may-care attitude to life.
When he did finally speak, he told me of a young woman he had met, a woman with an impressive body and a keen interest in footballers. He has such a big, kind, generous heart and he told me how he took her back to his flat, I think he said she didn’t have anywhere to stay for the night. What a man, ladies, with such a caring nature to all those who are lost and homeless, I know he can be a good father to all of my pets.
Those minutes with him are ones that I will cherish for my whole life.
As he was backing out of the door, I admit I was rather forward and asked him when I would see him again.
He told me he was going away for a month but that he would be back in the North to host a big club opening.
I told him to wait for a minute, quickly ran into the house to find a pair of my scissors and snipped a lock of my hair clean away.
He was waiting for me with a sense of keen desperation on his face - how he must despair my absence - and as I thrust the lock in his hands I promised him I would be by his side at the club opening.
Readers, as he walked away he started to violently shake his head, and I know he was trying to whip away the tears that were forming in his eyes.


This week: I savoured some pasties and discovered the joy of a greasy dinner, especially when they are brought by a loved one